Crafted For

Stop wasting time and money designing and managing a website that doesn’t get results. Happiness guaranteed!

Feel good again

Feel down? Think you could look better? This is the product for you.

Get STONKS

Start making money by looking better today.

Be You

We don't make the hair for you, we help you make the hair you've already got.

Don't forget!

We also sell thongs. Yes- Both kinds.

Services

Our Pricing

Stop wasting time and money on other products, ours is superior!

FREE
$ 0

FOREVER!

  • Carefully crafted ingredients
  • Amazing results
  • Large Container
  • Free Book about healthy hair
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baloon
Pro
$ 420

per day

  • Batch orders sent right to your door
  • Free thongs every week!
  • A how to grow hair book!
  • Free carries on EFT!
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flower
Enterprise
$ 6969

once

  • Literally get some new hair
  • Thongs that will let you walk on water
  • + 40" to your game
  • ew subscriptions
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Testimonial

Stop wasting time and money styling your hair and managing your thongs with other repulsive brands. Happiness guaranteed!

Author

"This hair gel has been a game changer for my daily styling routine. It holds perfectly without feeling heavy, and when I scav raid, it doesn't get in my eyes!. Also, the thongs are the most comfortable I've ever worn - perfect for work days! Early start!"

TrentAU
CEO, Scavlands, #1 DadAU
Author

"The hair gel keeps my hair looking great all day, I could hide anything in it (maybe a USB for my game! Who said that?) Anyway- I must say, these thongs are the only ones I've found that combine comfort with a great look. Love the automatic pixelization, almost leaked them twice on stream! Highly recommend both!"

Kritikal
#1 EFT Player & CEO of ButterCorp
Author

"I've tried so many hair gels, but nothing compares to this one. When I sit in a dark corner, waiting for a PMC, or even when I go in with absolutely nothing but a double barrel, I always remember to bring my hair gel. It gives me the perfect hold without any flakiness in raids. And the thongs are amazing - stylish and incredibly durable. (See more on the OF)"

AfraidAU
Lead Drip Coordinator, EFT
Author

"I thought this was gonna be like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC8wEqUHA2Q but instead it's like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo4Z74sQcA8. I put on the thongs afterwards and I literally get kappa instantly. Gotta try this for yourself."

Cringe_OCE
#1 SherpaAU, #1 ModAU, #1 FriendAU, #1...

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